The Society CT Fetish & BDSM Club

Society Etiquette Guidelines

• Enjoy
  The Space is a relaxed fun place to be – the regulars are friendly and generally very welcoming of newcomers. They are not all going to pounce on you and do terrible things (unless you ask them nicely!) If it is your first time at The Space, the unfamiliarity of the situation will soon wear off and you will rapidly feel at ease. Do talk to people (unless they are in the middle of a scene – see below) Relax, introduce yourself and get to know people. The Society is not a free-for-all, where anyone plays with anyone else – scenes are carefully negotiated and the best way of allowing that to happen is to chat to people and get to know them.
• You Can Ask Anyone Anything… If They Say No – Then Don’t Ask Again! The Society is a very open environment and nobody will take offense at a polite question. However, if you are asking someone to play and they decline – accept the answer with equally good grace and do not ask again. Pestering someone will only put their backs up and in some cases may result in you being asked to leave. It is always better to get to know people and allow them to get to know you, BEFORE asking to play or be played with. The Society is a social group, not a “sex club”.
• Do not interfere with a scene;
  do not speak to participants or otherwise interrupt a scene in progress. Do not attempt to participate without being invited. This includes asking a Top/Dominant if they want to use your toys… or asking the bottom/submissive if they are enjoying what is going on! Please give the participants their “space” even after a scene is concluded. Sure, Dominants/Tops enjoy hearing that you enjoyed what you saw, as do some submissives/bottoms. However, usually there is a “coming down” time that is as important to the participants as the scene it self.
• Don’t Touch People or Toys Without Permission.
  In The Space you will encounter people in various states of dress, undress and provocative dress. This is not an invitation to touch them in any way other than you would do so in any other social setting. There will be people right in front of you who are doing very sexual things. They are doing them for their pleasure, not for yours. Generally, touching people without permission is not an acceptable behavior. Do not join in scenes, even if they look like free-for-alls. A scene that might look to you, like lots of people joining in is likely to either be pre-arranged between the Dom/me and other players or that the Dom/me is subtly signaling audience members they wish to be involved. Only join in if you are clearly and unambiguously invited to do so. A glance in your direction does not constitute an invitation. Do not touch people’s toys, floggers, etc., that are lying around without finding the owner and asking. Even if someone lets you hold a flogger, it is also courteous to ask again before swinging it through the air at an imaginary target or your forearm. Do not run a knife or pinwheel along your skin to try it — the owner might have gone to pains to sterilize the blade in expectation of an up-coming scene, and sharp edges break skin without always leaving marks or drawing blood. Also, remember that some submissives/bottoms do not have their Owner’s permission to allow you to touch the toys either, it is always more correct to ask the Dominant/Top these questions.
• Don’t monopolize equipment.
  Try to keep in mind that you are not the only people in The Space who want to have a turn at using the equipment/stations. After completing a scene, please clean up after yourself and prepare the equipment for another to use, as soon as it is possible..
• Players Have Right Of Way.
  Stay out of the way of a scene – if you get hit by the back stroke it is your fault! You shouldn’t have been so close or you should have been looking where you were going. If you are sitting on dungeon equipment chatting and someone wants to use it to play on move, and move with a good grace. The equipment is there for beating arses – not resting arses.
• Non-scene participants should refrain from talking in the play spaces.
  Voices should be kept low if it is necessary to talk. Remember, to a blindfolded submissive/bottom, voices will seem louder than they actually are. It is always best to keep social conversation to the lounge and kitchen areas of The Space, and OUT of the dungeon.
• Don’t Crowd A Scene, Interrupt A Scene Or Talk To The Players.
  If you want to watch a scene, generally that is fine – people wouldn’t be playing here, if they were totally averse to people seeing them play. However – and this is a very important point – They are not playing for your entertainment, so treat their scene with respect. Do not crowd them, do not stand and “gawk”, do not make “helpful” suggestions to the Dominant/Top and don’t make audible comments to other on lookers. A scene is an intimate interaction between the participants; you shouldn’t interrupt this any more than you would any other intimate moment between people. If you are asked to move back by one of the participants – do so immediately, without argument or question and with a good grace. The Keyword is ‘respect’ – watch by all means, from a respectful distance. If you enjoyed the scene then no one is going to be offended by a respectful compliment after the scene is completely over (and the players have had time to come ‘down’).
• Wax play is allowed.
  Care should be taken not to get wax on the furniture or floors. Please, remember to clean up after yourselves.
• Fire play is allowed.
  Care should be taken not to have any flammable materials nearby and a damp towel or fire extinguisher NEEDS to be available. (See a Board Member for instructions.)
• Use of long whips,
  including single tails may be restricted if their use interferes with the play of others. Please be mindful of your swing area.
• Players are expected to clean up after themselves and to leave the play areas clean of debris.
  There are always Clean Wipes available for sanitizing the equipment, at the First Aid Station in the Dungeon. Please ask a Board Member if you need help finding them, or if you don’t know the correct way to clean a piece of equipment.
• Do Enjoy. (Part 2)
  At the end of the night all the ‘rules’ just come down to common courtesy (and a little common sense). It is just a case of applying it in an unfamiliar setting, and remembering that just because the person standing next to you is wearing a “grin and a butt plug” – maybe literally as well as figuratively – you should behave to them with exactly the same courtesy as you would in any other environment.
  Being at The Space is great fun, and full of wonderful people – relax and enjoy it